I thought this book was going to tell me how to stop giving a fuck.
All it did was make me want to throw this book in the fireplace.
The title of the book is misleading. Written by Mark Manson, my first assumption of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck was that this book was going to help me stop caring about the mundane things in life, such as other people’s opinions or the way I perceive myself on my really bad days. Instead, Manson seems to focus on how to motivate oneself in the face of doubt and grief. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great message and something a lot of people, including myself, struggle with, but I don’t think that particular message lives up to the title. As Manson explains, “you must give a f**k about something.” He clarifies this throughout the book, stating that it’s not so much on not giving a f**k, but choosing what we want to give a f**k about and it’s in figuring that out which ends up being the life-altering experience — supposedly.
Maybe it’s because I’ve taken several psychology classes or just took the time to be honest with myself, but I found this book to be redundant and unrevealing. The things that were meant to come across as profound were, quite simply, not. Manson spends so much time explaining his struggle of commitment and his cheating ex-girlfriend that it just comes across as “guy issues,” rather than actual human problems. I wish I knew Manson when he was going through this because his solutions to “overcoming” these issues are kind of obvious — he just needed to grow the f**k up.
I also rejected Manson’s continued attempt to discredit other “self-help” books by claiming while they give you stereotypical advice for short-term happiness, The Subtle Art is the only one to tell you what you need to hear. I think that’s bullshit. I’ve read plenty of those so-called “self-help” books and they’ve done way more for me than Manson’s did. What all good self-help books do is help you to recognize that life isn’t perfect. Everyone struggles — it’s what makes us stronger. Everyone is going to go through something terrible, no matter how hard we try to avoid it. It’s in the understanding that we’re all in this mess together that makes things easier. I think that’s my main issue with this book — all of these great awakenings Manson has is just basic human growth. Life is always about choosing what to give a f**k about. While it’s nice to read on paper, it’s not anything new.
With all that being said, this does not mean that I don’t agree with everything Manson’s saying. We do need to give a f**k about things and figuring out what those things are is important. In fact, one of the things that stood out to me in this book was Manson’s explanation about death. Without spoiling too much, he lost someone dear to him when he was young and continued to have dreams in which he would have discussions with said person for months following their death. In one of the last dreams he had, he tells this person that he’s sorry they died, to which they respond, “Why do you care that I’m dead when you’re still so afraid to live?” That line in particular really made an impact on me personally and is something that I think we all need to be reminded about once in a while. Mason’s whole chapter on death is probably where the most informative and useful stuff that he writes about in the whole book.
While it does have its moments, all in all, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck ends up being exactly what Manson claims those “other” self-help books to be — a simplified way to be happy in a world of constant disappointment. He may not see it that way, but it’s true and THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. He makes some pointed remarks that are interesting and helpful to read about, but why it’s become this international bestseller is still a mystery to me. If you’re looking for something to help you “not give a f**k,” you probably won’t find it in this book. But who am I to determine that? If it does, that’s great! As for me, I’m moving on to February’s Book of the Month — The Loveliest Chocolate Shop in Paris!
What did you think of this book? Let me know in the comments below!
February's Book of the Month: The Loveliest Chocolate Shop in Paris by Jenny Colgan
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